Waiting Game

Oh, isn't this just so much fun? Waiting and waiting and waiting? At least it's Christmas time, my favorite time of year! And, Miss Sophie realizes this year that SOMETHING big is going on! She loves the "yites" and the "kiss-mas" trees :)

Only one little problem, that I'm going to have to ask you all to pray for: our schedule for IUI looks like it's going to fall on either Christmas Eve or Christmas day... and the Fertility center is NOT open on Christmas Day! So, I'm crossing fingers, praying to the heavens, meditating to Mother Earth, for this to PLEASE work out where we will be in Plano on Christmas Eve getting this procedure done!

All I really want for Christmas this year, is for things to finally fall into place for Darl and I and for us to get the good news that our family is growing!

FINGERS CROSSED!!!!!

Until next time.....

Another Month of hoping

Well, here we go again. Another month of hoping. And, with this being Christmas time, I'm really hoping that the good Lord above is feeling extra soft-hearted.... cause we sure could use an answered prayer!

I go to the doctor again tomorrow so that we can start our THIRD IUI cycle. Yep, that's right - THIRD. You know what they say.... third time's a charm? Let's hope. Cause if this month passes without good news, then in January we start our new year with our one and only attempt at invitro. So..... I'll either be a very happy mommmy by the end of 2010 - or a very skinny pissed off lady (skinny because it is my ultimate goal to be fit again, and I'll need SOMETHING to take my mind off of NOT having my own children).

So, on that note, I'll say good-bye. Hopefully, my next post will bring good news!

Until next time...

In this case, no news is NOT good news

Well, since I haven't been on here screaming with joy, I'm sure you've all guessed by now that our first attempt at IUI did not work. We had such good vibes that whole day, but I guess the stars just weren't aligned for us.

But, you know me... I never go down without a fight :) As I am writing this, we are heading to the doctors office to do our second IUI! it's a very long story, but due to uncontrollable circumstances (and a very up set lair of Garrisons), we have found a new doctor. His methods of treatment are more along the lines of what we were hoping to do anyway, so it actually worked out for the best. So, we are looking forward to today's events & hoping that Dr. Douglas can help us get our long awaited baby.

I'll try not to wait so long to blog this time. Until next time....

Are we there yet?

Well.... we are still waiting..... I swear, this alone just might send me over the edge! :) Darl and I have been impatiently moving through each day like zombies, with nothing on our minds other than "are we?" or "aren't we?" Even though we don't have the faintest idea of what lies ahead for us, we are very hopeful and optimistic. No reason in getting down now....

Plus, I feel GREAT! It could be the beautiful weather we had today, or just being around my husband all day... but I've even noticed a slight change in him. We seem happier.... maybe it's just the idea that I could be pregnant, but whatever the reason - I'm glad that I have Darl and that Darl has me :)

So, we have about another week before I can give you any concrete news.... but, until then, I'm going to try my best to stay relaxed and enjoy life! Halloween is over, Thanksgiving is coming up, then Christmas, then baby Olivia arrives, then Sophie turns two! Much celebration to be had coming up, so even if our news is not the kind we want - we have a lot to be thankful for.

Until next time....

One Week Down....

Well, most of you reading this know me pretty well, and know that I am not the most patient person.... I am a go-getter.... when I set my mind to something, I am usually busy until the job is done. So, having this baby situation be completely out of my grasp is driving me insane! Not to mention, my poor husband texts me every couple of hours asking: "Do you feel pregnant?" (lol)

But, on the bright side (cause there is always a bright side), we are ONE WEEK DOWN! Exactly a week ago today, we had the IUI done, and boy... has it been a heck of a week! I think this whole thing is making me crazier than when I started. Friday of last week, I started taking naps.... uncontrollably tired. I am NOT a nap person. I run best off of about 4-6 hours of sleep. I am most definitely a morning person... or at least I was, until this week. I have been tired almost every day since the procedure! Not to mention the minor headaches. Those started around Sunday. I haven't had problems with consecutive headaches for a few years now.....

So, of course, what do I do? Consult my friend who is a baby nurse! She gave me the workup questionaire she does, and I scored a 13 out of 15, putting me in a category that stated: "you are experiences very early signs of pregnancy. But hold off on the test, it seems it may still be a little early." So, naturally, I have convinced myself that I am prego. LOL!

Honestly, I don't know. I will say, in all truthfulness, that I do feel different. I'm not sure how to explain it, because I'm so scared that I'm going to sound crazy if my pregnancy test comes back negative..... But, I'd like to think that if I AM pregnant.... THIS is what it feels like.

Ignorance is bliss.... so, I'm going to live these next couple of weeks with a positive outlook and a smile on my face! Surely 2 weeks won't go by that slow..... right?


Until next time......

Baby Talk

Sorry it's been so long since my last blog.... I've been busy with Race for the Cure and other projects :) My girlfriends and I completed our annual trip to Dallas for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure! It was amazing, to say the least!

But, now for the good stuff: Baby Talk!

I think I told you guys that I was taking fertility pills to make me ovulate (I'm talking Jon & Kate type stuff here). Well, low & behold... it WORKED! I was performing my usual morning ritual with my little ovulation stick, hopped in the shower, and expected to see a single line on the test strip.... But, to my surprise there they were: two perfectly bold, parallel pink lines! Hallelujah, I OVULATED! (lol)

So, I spent the rest of Tuesday morning like a wild woman.... couldn't concentrate on a thing, and paced the floor at work until I was finally able to get in touch with my doctor. So, it was set. We were to come in Wednesday morning, and she would perform IUI. Surprisingly, I was a lot less frantic than I expected I would be. I think that's mostly in part to my awesome girlfriends, who are refusing to let me throw anymore pity parties, let alone worry myself to death.

So..... yesterday we traveled to DeSoto to see Dr. King. Needless to say we were very nervous, but we were also very excited. I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but it's like a calmness swept over me. I honestly think it was all of the love and good vibes my friends and family were sending our way, and I truly believe that I could feel all of their wonderful thoughts!

The procedure went about as good as it could, but now comes the hard part.... We wait. Yep, that's it.... just waiting. Waiting to see if we have a Michael Phelps in there somewhere that can get this thing done so we can finally get the show on the road! I don't know how my poor husband is going to make it through these next few weeks. He wanted to know how long until I could take a pregnancy test, and I told him four weeks - "FOUR WEEKS?!?!?!" he yelled (lol). I know, that part is the pits.

So, now we'll all just have to hold our horses and think of something else for the next month. Hopefully, I'll wake up one morning... nauseated... pale as a ghost... craving pickles & peanut butter :) I definitely look forward to being pregnant! I sure hope we don't have to wait long.

Until next time.....

Not sure where to go from here...

Well, I have gone from being optimistic, to trying to be realistic. It's time I realize that I'm not going to get everything in life that I want... things can't always go the way I want them to. My mother always told me, "you can do whatever you set your mind to." Well, that's true... and while I still believe her, I think it's time I recognize that being Superwoman isn't gonna happen :)

I think I am a great Aunt, and I'm sure Miss Sophie would agree. But, there will always be a quiet, special place, sort of like the Secret Garden, in my heart - just waiting for a child of my own to fill up with laughter and love. Darl and I have never, and will never give up on this dream... but right now that's all it is... a dream. And, that's ok. It's something to look forward to. A reason to keep fighting.

My mom wants me to be more positive, but I know myself... and if I don't open my mind to the possibility that things might not work out the way I want them to - I have to be ready... so that my heart doesn't shatter into a million little pieces! And my husband, God bless his heart..... he's so convinced that EVERYTHING we try is gonna work.... that's good, I guess. I need him to be the upbeat one. He keeps me from getting too doom-and-gloom :)

Darl and I are going to see if we can beat the odds (since they're stacked so heavily against us), and maybe prove Dr. King and her statistics wrong. I have taken my first round of Clomid and now have the luxury of peeing on a stick every morning (lol) to test if I'm ovulating. If/when, I get a positive sign on the test, I'll call Dr. King and she will perform an IUI procedure on me. We are hopeful that good things come from this, but if not, then we know we're looking at a tough road ahead.

And, I am ok with that. I have decided that God hard-wired me to be the good kind of stubborn - you know, the kind that never gives up. And, I was lucky enough to find a man in this world who is exactly like me in this sense. No matter how many times we've been in the doctors office with them telling us that "no two people were so wrong to end up together in the hopes of reproducing," we still get excited about a new game plan. There is always hope in everything we do.

Something else my mother always told me: God doesn't give you things He knows you can't handle..... and I think she's right.


Until next time.......