Time of the season....

Finally! I have been so ready for the weather to turn crisp! Oh, how I've missed the relaxing feel of the cool, fresh air blowing throughout my house... the sound of the leaves rustling against each other... the beautiful mosaic of reds, yellows and oranges as the fall flowers bloom.... and the smell of Pumpkin Spice candles :)

It's that time of the season when neighbors are switching their door wreaths, setting out their pumpkins and mums, and getting ready for the trick-or-treaters! I love this time of year.... And, today my cute little niece came over to go watch the Fannin County Fair parade with me! Although I was quite disappointed with the parade, watching Sophie was so wonderful! It's amazing how much better things seem through the eyes of a child.... She was so excited to see the other kids sitting around us, and a lady was giving away free puppies, so of course, she had to pet them :) And, she clapped as the horses went by and gave my sister and I a play-by-play of what was happening (we're getting to be very fluent in Sophie-jibber).

Just like her Aunt NaNee, she LOVED the marching band the best... she yelled, "AGAIN!" when they rounded the street corner and started marching away from us :) And, as the miniature ponies trotted closer to us, we turned to see her giggling and clapping and in her sweet voice she whispered, "Aw, horsees..." And, as the pageant contestants drove by waving their best royalty wave, Sophie waved back and hollered, "Bye!" (lol)

She giggled and jabbered as we walked back to my house, and I realized that no matter what happens in life, it's all how you view things. Sophie is my favorite little person in the whole wide world and every time I'm with her, I learn something new. She has the kindest personality and the most beautiful smile! She is and always will be MY Sophie-Girl.

So, I'm gonna say goodbye for now.... time to go sit in my recliner in front of my open windows, enjoy the light breeze and the sound of the sprinkling rain outside, and cuddle up and watch movies. I love days like these and look forward to many many more!

Until next time!......

Today was good news....

I think we got some pretty good news today. We got the okay the move forward with IUI, which stands for Intra-Uterine Insemination (I should have earned the letters OBGYN behind my name by the time this is all over with!). This procedure is the least invasive, and is the easiest of all of the infertility procedures. Of course, we're hoping this works, so we won't have to move on to the more strenuous stuff.

There are steps to take in order to get ready for the procedure, which we've already started (hence my little pill mentioned below). So, hopefully, it won't be too much longer before we actually get to try the procedure - maybe a few weeks? or a month? Either way, we're excited to be doing SOMETHING! LOL....

I am on a mission. I am eating healthier and working out more often (since supposedly losing weight will help my PCOS tremendously). I want to do everything in my power to make this happen.... I just don't see any reason why it shouldn't! :)

Anyways, that's all I have for now.... more waiting. Welcome to my life.


Until next time......

Pray for the people around me!

Well, I finally broke down and decided to let Dr. King's nurse have her way - so, I started this lovely pill called Provera. Now, for those of you who aren't familiar with infertility, there are many drugs out there, specifically designed to alter your hormones. I've decided they must've been concocted by MEN. No woman in her right mind would submit these pills to the FDA for approval, after knowing what kind of roller-coaster these little pills put you through!

Since I suffer from PCOS (polycycstic ovarian syndrome), I do not have a normal cycle. I'm talking, every woman's dream here: maybe three or four cycles a YEAR! Uh-huh, now you know why I can't get prego so easily... Anyway, so Provera is supposed to MAKE you begin a cycle. Makes you wonder exactly HOW this happens, doesn't it? Well, I have taken this pill before, and let me just warn all of my friends and family now.... the side effects ain't pretty! LOL!

I never really experience PMS or suffer from bitchyness or any of that stuff (though, my hubby might disagree with that statement -lol), but it's a totally different story when I'm taking this "magical" little drug. So, do not say that I didn't warn you all! This could be a rough week.....

But, the good thing is, the sooner I get a visit from Aunt Flo, the quicker I can get back to Dr. King, and we can REALLY get some stuff going. So, hopefully, if all goes as planned - we will have some NEWS (good or bad) in the next couple of weeks.

I'll let you know if I've bitten anyone's head off. LOL!

Until next time.....

One day, it will happen.....

I know everyone says, "Don't worry, it will happen one day" and another favorite of mine is, "God controls everything. It will happen when He wants it to." See, the only problem with that is, I am tired of waiting.... I just want to be a Mother. I don't think it's such a difficult request. More often than not, I am very aggravated - not just with God, but with myself, too..... because of all of the things in my life - this is the one that I want really badly, and I have absolutely, positively NO CONTROL over any of it!

Since I was 16 I knew that I would have trouble conceiving. So, I am thankful that I've had so many years to get used to the idea, that my Mommy dreams would be more difficult for me than most other women. And, God bless my poor husband, who has only had a handful of years to realize the extent of how difficult this is going to be. We see other couples our age beginning their families, and we smile and say how wonderful that is - because, it IS! But, at the same time, it's hard to ignore that little chip of your heart that crumbles off each time a new baby pops up.... because it's another reminder that your prayers still haven't been answered.

I know in my right mind, that there are plenty of ways to be a Mommy, but it's telling my heart that, which seems to be the problem. For the most part, I'm Happy Nat - smiling, bubbly, giggly, Natalie, that they all know and love :) But, there are times when I just want to curse everything in my sight and go in a corner and pout - childish? - Yes! It's just how this is, though.

I am so grateful that I have such wonderful friends and family to turn to, though. In the midst of my kid sister popping kiddos out left and right (I'm a kick-ass Aunt, by the way), I've had to turn to my girlfriends a lot and let off a little steam.... God bless them for putting up with me in those instances!!! They always seem to know just what to say to pull me outta my funk.

Since my hubby and I have been on this roller coaster for a few years now, we're finally to a point where we might actually be getting somewhere! Next week is another doctor visit, where we'll learn what our next steps will be in our quest to having our own child. One thing my hub and I agreed on, is that we'd like to expend all of our options before moving on to adoption.... So, right now, our doctors are seeing what all they can do to help us out.

I will certainly keep you guys posted, since, afterall, I decided to create a blog to help me vent (and hopefully cheer) about our progress. So, on with my weekend.... I just had to get this started.



Until next time......